On a lighter note...

This kind of reminds me of the "How I Met Your Mother" episode with Marshall and the magazine...

In my office, the cleaning crew comes around during the workday since we have sensitive documents on the floor (that SHOULD be locked up at night but people are stupid). On top of that, each cleaning person has to have an escort follow them around because of said sensitive material – you know, to make sure they're not stealing government secrets. (I can't imagine a worse job – you're not actively doing anything other than watching someone clean.)

Anyway, the cleaning lady for my floor isn't the greatest. Most of the time I see her in the bathroom, talking on the phone about how "her keeeds" (kids) are driving her crazy. When she is working, it's fairly half-assed, and she's usually blasting her music so loud I can hear it through her headphones 25 feet away. But hey, I had a summer job as a cleaning person when I was 16, and it's a sucky deal, so I can't criticize too much...?

One of you guys (either obx or Ash) had a list of their "picky" behavior awhile back, and one of them I can totally identify with: not being able to go to the bathroom on the same floor you work on because of co-worker interaction. It is kind of weird, and even more awkward when there are strange noises emanating from one of the stalls and you have to decide: finish up, wash your hands super fast and get the hell out of there, or try not to make eye contact when Farty McGee emerges because you couldn't pull off option 1.

Or hear, in this case...

Most times I've been able to avoid it, because the fail-safe is to wait until the other person leaves if you want to avoid face time, but it sucks when the person stays in there. Like the cleaning lady.

Even when the cleaning lady isn't gabbing on her phone in the bathroom, I swear she knows when I'm there. We have two ladies' rooms on our floor, and it doesn't matter which one – she shows up right as I sit down for a long-term visit. Lately I've been playing it safe and using the floor below me to avoid her, but it's kind of a pain since I have to punch a code in twice just to travel between floors.

The other morning, I was putting my lunch in the office fridge when she started to wash the floor in the kitchen, so I thought "Perfect! This will take her at least 10 minutes to finish, so I can go to the bathroom in peace."

NOPE. Two minutes later, after I've sat down, she comes in the bathroom and starts cleaning the sinks! WTF. And it was really uncomfortable because my only option was to hurry it up so maybe she woldn't know I've been pooing, since that's apparently all I do since she's always here while I'm doing that!

I guess this means going back down to the fifth floor...

I guess something just got lost, and it deeply saddens me

I'm starting to think I will never, ever find a guy.

After a good month and a half of going out with Aiden, he started doing the fade out thing. This really sucked, because at this point I was feeling more comfortable with him and really starting to like him. It started around New Year's, when I texted him on NYE asking if he wanted to hang out the next day. I didn't hear back from him until the next afternoon, and he was apparently so hungover that he had just woken up. Fine, understandable. I suggested Thursday, and he told me the next afternoon that he was still feeling sick, might be coming down with something, etc.

OK, that's fine. I left Aiden alone for the next several days, then texted him the next week asking how he was feeling. He told me he was feeling better but still had had a rough week, so I commiserated and asked him if there was anything I could do. His response: "No worries, I'll get over it." Okayy... does this mean your mom died, you lost your job, you got a cancer diagnosis? I realize he's a guy and I don't want to press the issue, so I tell him I'm sorry and hope things will get better soon.

I don't hear from him for the next few days, which is definitely not like him considering we were texting nearly every day. I go out with friends that Saturday, and we ended up at a bar near his apartment, so I texted him and mentioned I was at a bar with my friends if he was bored. I heard back from him as I was heading home, saying he had met up with an old friend and was heading home as he had to get up early. We text back and forth a few times, joking like old times, then I go to bed.

The next day I get horrible news from my parents: one of our close family friends died very unexpectedly. I was shell shocked and stunned. Since Aiden knew of the friend (I had told him about him and what a great person he was), I texted him and said, "Hey, my turn for a shitty week! ___ died. Was in for surgery and died in the hospital."

F***ing FOUR HOURS LATER, he texts back: "Jesus, that's terrible."

Really?!? I consoled you for having an ambiguously crappy week (since you didn't tell me what the hell happened), and this is your response. How about, "I'm sorry, that's terrible, are you OK?"

What. The. F.

I was pissed and wanted to see if he'd show some sort of empathy: "I'm completely shocked, I can't believe this happened. He wasn't much younger than my parents." No response.

I spent the next few days burying myself in work and trying not to cry. Tuesday I get a text from him: "How are you holding up?" I waited two days and my response was short: "I'm okay, all things considered." All things considered, like a super close family friend just died and now the guy I'm dating is ignoring me.

I texted something arbitrary/funny to him on Saturday to see if he'd bite, and while I got a response, I didn't get anything else out of it. Finally I said, "Eff it. I have nothing left to lose at this point," and decided to mention the 800 lb gorilla – that I felt like my communication with him was becoming more and more futile. Not surprisingly, no response to that.

I know I didn't do anything glaringly wrong, like most of us girls are guilty of at one point or another. I didn't drunk text him stupid stuff, I didn't smother him, I didn't sleep with him, I showed enough interest but not TOO much, but obviously I stopped being good enough for him. And that hurts.

I hate not having closure, and this is such a cowardly way for a guy to bail out. He was really into me. I'm not just saying that, but the signs were there. And all of a sudden, they weren't. I know I said before that I was really freaking out over the attention, but by the third date I got accustomed to it and felt I was doing okay emotionally.

Now I'm just... sad. Sad because I should have been making an effort to date other guys at the same time to have something to fall back on. Sad because the one time I needed someone to lean on, he wasn't there. Sad because a friend who wasn't even a blood relative but did SO much for my family and was the nicest, most generous person I've met is suddenly gone.

2014 is off to a great start. :(



Post title song reference: "Argue" - Matchbox Twenty