Anony-blog

I've started this blog because I found that I'm never able to convey what I feel on paper. At the same time, I'm a pretty conservative person and don't vocalize my feelings, yet knowing that someone out there may read them and empathize... well, knowing that makes me feel a little less alone.

I have a regular blog that's attached to my real identity, but I can't write anything personal on there because I don't want people to know about issues I'm going through. The majority of my old "journal" is full of frustrations relating to guys, and if I wrote about them on something that can be traced back to me... it'd piss people off. Venting about what crap I go through without fear of exposing those I'm friends or enemies with makes the process a lot more therapeutic.

Here's what you need to know about me. I'm a single girl in her late 20s, living in a metropolitan city. I have a great job that I love and make a decent amount of money. I have a sporting hobby that takes up a significant amount of time, and it's to the point of where it's affected my personal life because it takes up all my time. I struggle to find that balance of what makes me happy now and what will make me happy in the long term. I keep hoping that the "long term" part will eventually include a guy, but I seem to be really, really good at screwing things up.

I'm sure I'll write about "D," a guy I met last year. I fell for him, but didn't have the guts to tell him because the friendship was still new. I went away on a business trip, and after I returned, I find out he started "sort of seeing" a 20 year old girl who lives 1500 miles away. (He's in his 30s, by the way.) Instead of keeping my mouth shut, I ended up telling him I liked him, which he admitted to liking me as well... but it was too late. And, unfortunately for me, I tried my damnedest to cut off contact, but my stupid heart won't allow for it.

So. Maybe you can identify with me, maybe not. I'm tired of keeping it all bottled up inside and letting it eat away at me. I hope writing it down can help relieve some of that anger and sadness that seems to have moved in.